Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
