To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
He passed out mid-signature
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize