hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
