she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Randomize
