Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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