i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize