my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I believe in your delicious
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
