I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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