Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
