i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
