i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
