cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize