please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
