Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Randomize
