So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
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