I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize
