I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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