i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
