Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
