He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Randomize
