i was rollin on her like bob the builder
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
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