Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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