why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Randomize
