i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
