I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
