My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Is Oprah even human
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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