How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Randomize
