so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
