Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I'm just crazy horny about you
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
