i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
