I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Randomize
