So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
pop tarts are not kleenex
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Randomize
