Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
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