He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
