My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
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