You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
