I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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