I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
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