the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
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