You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
i dont even know how to be here
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
