Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
