We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
