I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
