you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
