My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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