Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
and she was petting her beer can
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Randomize