At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
you traded sex for a burrito?
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
