there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
