i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
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