Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
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