That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
