She said her name was "party"
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
