I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
