I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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