We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
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