i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
