I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize