A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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