What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
